Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentine's Day is not even a real holiday. It is business- commercially induced, really. Today is just another way for the greedy to make money, right? Yet, Valentine's is the most romantic made up day ever. This day has never meant much to me. There have been those times Valentine's was spent with someone, those times my "Valentine" stood me up (2x), and many more times the day has been spent alone. Today is not such a bad day.
You hear a lot of people hate on this day and those who embrace this day. My thoughts on this day lie somewhere in the middle between hate and embrace. Love is not so bad. It is great to celebrate love, however, many, including myself, tend to forget true love. We don't really understand what it means. There are different definitions of love, but on this day, Valentine's Day, we somehow make all the definitions of love, one.
For example, today some single friends are coming over for dinner, so I researched the most romantic movies of all times. The first site I pulled up on the screen listed "The Top 10 Romantic Movies of All Time". To put it bluntly, the should have simply named it the "Top 10 Movies About Sex, Lust, and Those Who Think They Are in Love Because the World Tells Us We Are in Love When You Feel Butterflies in Your Stomach and You Get Excited" But I guess that title is too long.
The worldview is skewed in my opinion. It is not some fantasy. Love is not lust. Love is not sex. Love is not one simple definition.
Look up love in the dictionary and you will find a number of definitions. In fact, here are 13:
noun, verb, loved, lov⋅ing.
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
I do not understand love fully. I don't even understand God's love for me. Even though, I believe and accept that God loves me. That is all I understand.
And then there the one you love, the one where you have "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person". If definition #1 of love is true, then it needs to be completed. It is a long definition so bear with me.
Love= a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person whom you accept completely as they are along with the good and the bad; an affection for another person so strong that you would and do place them above yourself; affection for another person who also places God first; affection for another so strong that you would do everything within your power to keep them in your life-you would never give up on one another; Love is more than a feeling/emotion. Love is commitment, acceptance; it is not selfish; it is self-control; it is pure.
Love is centered on God. When you are united with God, that loving union with Him is spiritual. It transcends above everything else we think we know, which by the way, is nothing. But by accepting His love for us, we come to know Him and His love for us even more. It is not by our intellect, but by that unity with God. Unity that comes from the freedom He gave us to choose to trust and believe in Him; walk with Him. Love someone enough to share everything with one another, even being unified in God, as He is the center of your loving union.
Love also is not about being in love, it is about how to love. It is not a sensation. Just like the free will God gave you and I, we have a choice to love someone above ourselves; to share one another's lives, and accept one another completely.
This is what I believe. Therefore I have never truly been in love. I love my family, and my friends. And I have loved 3 men in my life, but each time it was only a deep affection. I did not love them enough. To be completely honest, I didn't love them more than I loved myself. And I certainly wasn't ready to share so much as to be unified with them in God. Doesn't that sound terrible? But I'm serious. I didn't even believe God loved me when I knew each one of those guys, so how was I suppose to share love with them centered on God? No way. Love has got to be mature too.
Anyways, here I am celebrating today because I have love in my life. I might not be in love or even be able to love presently, but I do have different kinds of love in my life and so I celebrate! Even though it's just a commercial holiday. Besides, it a great excuse to have quality time with friends and family, eat chocolate, watch sappy movies and simply figure out and further define what we think about love. At least that's what I'm doing on this Valentine's Day.